Look to the Helpers
The field of sociology is the study of people in groups. I have always been fascinated by how people in groups, and in our culture, respond and react in conflict. The study of people in groups as it relates to conflict is one of my life-long quests.
Several years ago I sat in the office of my friend and mentor as we talked about how people respond and react in times of crisis. I grieved what I saw around me and the state of people living in conflict. She was holding space for me to pour out my heart on the ugly side of relationships. But, she also looked for ways to illuminate hope of things yet to come.
My mentor reminded me that I am a helper. Our conversation took a silly turn when she mentioned Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. Remember Mr. Rodgers? He had such a calming manner! He understood people. He taught us to embrace our community, how to live as people in our society, and where to look for the helpers. He had great sociology words of wisdom.
He would say,
“ When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.”
Everyday there are helpers on the front lines and behind the scenes. A firefighter bravely enters a burning building to save the lives of people inside. A teacher sacrificially goes to work each day, sometimes in the most traumatic environments, in attempt to educate the next generation. This may be by a pastor who works quietly in a tiny church, pouring out his best efforts, to teach people how to love God. It might be a counselor who sits in the darkness of the human condition sees the deeper and darker things of humanity. It may be a single mom who shows up every day for her children with a smile and a hug, or a local business owner who helps their community by providing a quality service.
These people are all helping.
Mediators are also helpers. They may not be the person asking you to sit in a circle and sing, “the more we get together”. But, they are in our midst.
I can’t help but wonder in today’s toxic polarization and relationally “scary things”, if Mr. Rodgers would include mediators as “the helpers”? How could they help your family, church, community, or business thrive for better harmony?
How could you invite a helper like this into your life? Perhaps a mediator just might be the best helper to forge a path for unity and peace.
